May 8th will be another milestone in my life. For years now, I have desired to live in a big city and now that dream will come true! The opportunity came about quite quickly and, those who are close to me, can attest to how exhilarating the ride has been to get to this point.

I have often said that I am just like so many other people. I am a young spirited, single mom, with a professional career, who wants to live life to the fullest. If I were to ask all those who relate with this statement to raise their hand, I bet pretty much everyone would. Who doesn’t want to live life to the fullest? It is figuring out what that “fullest” looks like that is the trick.

Here is some insight for all those out there who are in the process of defining their “fullest” life. It NEVER is fully defined. Once I realized I am constantly evolving, and so are my desires, I was able to let go of the need to define a plan and stick to it.Everyone is moving ahead, that includes you! So, enjoy the evolution!

Here is another huge revelation: indecision leads to clarity which leads to moving forward (more evolutions)! My closest friends have listened to me make many confident, “I have decided!” statements. Then they have listen to me make many new “I have decided” statement only a few days later. Even my daughter recently joked with me by saying in a loving tone, “Mom, have you REALLY decided?” to which I answered, “Yes, at this minute, I really decided…”. We laughed and I realized that I certainly make lots of decisions and change my mind often. This is OK! I have accepted this about myself because as I share my “decisions” with those that are closest to me, I pay close attention to how I feel and to what reaction I am experiencing. Is it a pit in  my stomach or a slight adrenaline rush? This let’s me know if I am on the right track. If I feel hesitation or if there are added doubts, then I need to re-think my decision. On the other hand, if I feel too much exhilaration, I also need to think about my decision. Good those come in moderation.

Another point I find helpful is to focus on the most basic of needs and focus only on that ONE need. If we start to have too many requirements, we close ourselves to great possibilities and unplanned experiences. As an example, I recently wanted to spend time with a close friend of mine. He is very busy and I know that any time we spend together is a gift that he is giving me. With this in mind, I determined my most basic need was to spend time and enjoy his presence. I became very flexible with where we met and what activity we did together. Spending time with him was my most basic need. We met, had a great time and I was able to satisfy my need.

The same goes for my move to Manhattan. My basic need was to live in a city where I can get out and have fun, meet lots of people and experience lots of new things. I have invested the past 20 years to raising my daughter and building my career. I choose to live in the suburbs to raise my daughter. Now is the time to get out and have a whole new experience. I like my job and don’t want to lose the opportunity to grow with my company. So to meet this basic need, I will be living in the northern part of Manhattan (Harlem) and will be reverse commuting to my job in NJ (grueling traffic?). I will also be subletting a room in a beautiful renovated brownstone. There are two other professional women in the house with me. Ideally I would like to live on my own  and be in mid-town and live in a 2000 sq. ft. apartment and have a high paying job in the city and so on and so on… With all these requirements I would never be living my dream and a enjoying a more fulfilled life.

How about you? What are your basic needs?