For the past two years I have been a bit lost when it comes to defining my “purpose”. I feel a great need to embrace life and experience as much as I possibly can. This is quite exhausting especially when I am able to find enjoyment and passion in so many things out there! I know that I have the entire world open to me now and that freedom has become a bit overwhelming to grasp.

This past January my best friend Beth and I went to Costa Rica for a week-long program with Omega hosted at the Blue Spirit resort. It has been four months since our return and I felt it was due time to re-visit my notes to remind myself of my “transformational thoughts”. Here are the ones that still resonate with me the most:

• Lessen monthly financial commitments to allow for greater freedom of choice – flexibility, motion, movement.
• Open heart to love and allow others to care for me, support me, protect me to allow me to feel alive – awaken my heart.
• Find a new place where my heart can sing.
• Live in a cheerful state of indifference.
• Only spend time with those who want to “play” – “play” a lot…
• Have space and time to honor my mind and my body.

Great! Now what? Beth and I met for coffee recently and I shared with her my notes from Costa Rica and confessed that I was still lost. I am passionate about implementing the transformational thoughts but am still struggling to define the passion. Without passion how can it all come together?

Beth recommended that I identify my Soul Language. She had hers identified a few months ago and has often referred to them as a “support structure”. At first I was hesitant because the session is over the phone and was not inexpensive (at least for me). But given that I greatly value Beth’s insight and suggestions I decided to give it a try. One word – AMAZING!

I had my appointment with Jennifer Urezzio (she developed Know Soul’s Language to help people understand their own innate insight and voice) and am feeling a tremendous amount of clarity because my Soul Language not only is spot on to how I have felt about “who” I am but most importantly it gives me a structure on which to develop my passion and define my path forward! I highly recommend that you at least take a moment to look into what Soul Language is. I will continue to share my experience with using my Soul Language in my day-to-day in future blogs. I will also share what they are as I experience different things in life that clearly relate to them . Be sure to keep posted!

May 8th will be another milestone in my life. For years now, I have desired to live in a big city and now that dream will come true! The opportunity came about quite quickly and, those who are close to me, can attest to how exhilarating the ride has been to get to this point.

I have often said that I am just like so many other people. I am a young spirited, single mom, with a professional career, who wants to live life to the fullest. If I were to ask all those who relate with this statement to raise their hand, I bet pretty much everyone would. Who doesn’t want to live life to the fullest? It is figuring out what that “fullest” looks like that is the trick.

Here is some insight for all those out there who are in the process of defining their “fullest” life. It NEVER is fully defined. Once I realized I am constantly evolving, and so are my desires, I was able to let go of the need to define a plan and stick to it.Everyone is moving ahead, that includes you! So, enjoy the evolution!

Here is another huge revelation: indecision leads to clarity which leads to moving forward (more evolutions)! My closest friends have listened to me make many confident, “I have decided!” statements. Then they have listen to me make many new “I have decided” statement only a few days later. Even my daughter recently joked with me by saying in a loving tone, “Mom, have you REALLY decided?” to which I answered, “Yes, at this minute, I really decided…”. We laughed and I realized that I certainly make lots of decisions and change my mind often. This is OK! I have accepted this about myself because as I share my “decisions” with those that are closest to me, I pay close attention to how I feel and to what reaction I am experiencing. Is it a pit in  my stomach or a slight adrenaline rush? This let’s me know if I am on the right track. If I feel hesitation or if there are added doubts, then I need to re-think my decision. On the other hand, if I feel too much exhilaration, I also need to think about my decision. Good those come in moderation.

Another point I find helpful is to focus on the most basic of needs and focus only on that ONE need. If we start to have too many requirements, we close ourselves to great possibilities and unplanned experiences. As an example, I recently wanted to spend time with a close friend of mine. He is very busy and I know that any time we spend together is a gift that he is giving me. With this in mind, I determined my most basic need was to spend time and enjoy his presence. I became very flexible with where we met and what activity we did together. Spending time with him was my most basic need. We met, had a great time and I was able to satisfy my need.

The same goes for my move to Manhattan. My basic need was to live in a city where I can get out and have fun, meet lots of people and experience lots of new things. I have invested the past 20 years to raising my daughter and building my career. I choose to live in the suburbs to raise my daughter. Now is the time to get out and have a whole new experience. I like my job and don’t want to lose the opportunity to grow with my company. So to meet this basic need, I will be living in the northern part of Manhattan (Harlem) and will be reverse commuting to my job in NJ (grueling traffic?). I will also be subletting a room in a beautiful renovated brownstone. There are two other professional women in the house with me. Ideally I would like to live on my own  and be in mid-town and live in a 2000 sq. ft. apartment and have a high paying job in the city and so on and so on… With all these requirements I would never be living my dream and a enjoying a more fulfilled life.

How about you? What are your basic needs?

When you manage to live your passion through your business, then amazing things happen: your perfect prospects emerge, people get excited about what you are doing, they spread your message to their friends, they sign up, buy your products… You get more customers, marketers, make more money and have more FUN than ever before because you are in absolute alignment with your WHY.

Do you want to have a successful home based business so that you can enjoy more freedom or money? These benefits of business success are often referred to as your WHY. As in WHY are you starting this new business?

Everyone’s WHY is different as it is dependent on how each individual defines success in their life. Defining your WHY is important as it will inspire your actions, and provide daily motivation to keep moving towards your vision.

Following are four questions to help you define your WHY.

Make sure to write down your WHY where you can see it everyday.

Defining your WHY:

1. Think about and write down how you will know when you are successful. Start with the phrase: I know I am successful when…
2. When you achieve success, what will you do with your time, money etc? Write down your answer and be specific.
3. Imagine your perfect day in your new life. Write a short note to someone close to you at a future date in time (recommend 3 to 5 years) in the present tense – as if you are living it right now. (What you have written is your vision statement. Your WHY).
4. Where will you place your WHY statement so that you will see it everyday?

This afternoon I met a wonderful Romeo friend of mine for coffee. We were talking about relationships and how hard it is to let go of the hurt someone put us through. This Romeo has been single for a while and is not ready to jump back into a relationship (even though the opportunity has been there). He asked me if I thought a person should ever “just be alone”?

I thought about the answer and then shared that there are several reasons why a person may want to take a break from relationships. The most obvious one is after a break-up because of the turbulent emotions felt at the ending of the relationship (and the time period immediately following known as the rebound period). Another reason could be they may want to focus on getting a goal achieved such as a new job or maybe they are enjoying life and making decisions on their own without having to take someone else’s opinion into consideration.

To me it seems as though society looks at single people who willing choose to forego a relationship as having “issues”. Maybe they are the most stable and confident of the bunch.

So I now ask you the question, “Should a person ever be alone?” Can’t wait to hear your opinion!