The messages are off…

February 14th, 2010

What a fabulous day!

Never have I had such an exhilarating Valentine’s Day! The excitement felt at Genie’s Weenies was enough to lift me off the ground. The patrons who were having lunch became as involved in the excitement as those who knew why they were there. This adventure is bringing out a warm smile from everyone.

Leigh, from Annie’s Balloon Affair, had her van filled with my balloons. Eight bags contained the 100 balloons. Some were clear and others were clear with a delicate heart designs. Leigh, Casey and Patrick helped me shake them out. As they came out of the bags, I could see my little red scrolls inside. Each was in their own vehicle taking flight into the air.

At first there was concern with the number of trees and power lines. Having faith and focusing on the positive made it so that all the balloons made it safely through the air. Event though some bounced on the power lines and kept on going and others took a little longer to reach higher altitudes, They all knew their destiny was to continue up into the universe.

As the balloons were floating into the air, I could feel the excitement throughout my body. I held on tightly to that feeling in my heart that I will find that special person. My mind raced with thoughts of the balloons reaching different people. I know he is out there and ready to find me. It is a matter of time now…

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Dancing Queen

February 14th, 2010

Sunday morning. Today’s the day! I am sitting in my living room listening to Cat Stevens while reflecting on my weekend so far. My feet are aching…

Dancing is an amazing experience. In college I took ballroom dancing as one of my required physical education courses. It ignited a wish to twirl and swing around a dance floor as often as possible. Since college I have not taken formal classes but have attended a number of social events hosted by dance studios or instructors. It is a great way of meeting – women! So for all you guys out there who are single I recommend getting a pair of dancing shoes and going for a spin!

I absolutely LOVE to dance! Club’ing is fun and can really work up a sweat but ballroom dancing is magical! Especially when you get into sync with your partner and glide along together as one. For me, that feeling is pure joy.

Because I love to dance and am about to send-off my messages to attract the love of my life (dancer is a plus), I decided to fill up my dancing energy by hitting the dance club on Friday night and a dance social on Saturday night. In total I danced about 8 hours this weekend!

Friday, I got together with a “Romeo” friend of mine at The Bar with No Name in Bethlehem, PA. It was a great time. We hit the dance floor and moved about to the popular radio hits of today. Lady Gaga and all the others that get the beat going and the hips swinging. There were a number of people at the club – young and old, dressed in their finest threads or in casual jeans, tall and short and everything in between. As I looked over the crown from the sidelines (I did take a few minutes here and there for re-hydration) I was happy to see so many people just enjoying their time out. The “mosh pit” moved well together and by the end of the night it started to segment out as people gravitated to wanting to dance with one person or another. The evening ended at around 1 am. I said goodbye to Romeo and headed home. My ears were ringing!

On Saturday I headed off to a dance social organized by Butch, a dance instructor in Edison, NJ. I met Butch through Ami last month when my wonderful friend Beth and I attended a dance social at Indigo Ballroom in Somerville, NJ. For Valentine’s Day social there were about 90 people in attendance. Some that I had met at Indigo Ballroom. The great thing about attending dance events run by studios or instructors is that there are male “DI”s in attendance to dance with the women. The Dance Instructors (DI’s) are friendly and available to take the women for a spin on the dance floor. Given them being there, I never hesitate going alone because I know I will have someone to dance with.

Fundamentally, dancing is about the connection you have with your partner. This connection is not sexual or intimate (unless there is an attraction to your dance partner, then it is electrifying). Ballroom dancers enjoy mixing it up and dancing with different partners. You don’t need to know their names or what the do or how they approach life. It is about being in the moment. Being present. When I dance, I must accept my partner into my personal space and give him permission to lead me on the dance floor. I need to feel their subtle queues that get us moving along gracefully. I must relinquish control. For me there is no better feeling than to “let go” , enjoy the moment as I take a spin on the dance floor.

I have danced with lots of wonderful people. Now its time to dance with my soul mate. The love of my life must enjoy dancing and be looking for a life-long dance partner…

The balloons launch at 1 pm from Branchburg, NJ.

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It’s time for a “life reality” check

February 10th, 2010

The Match dating whirlwind is now over. My subscription has ended and my profile is hidden. Looking back at the six Romeos I met only one sparked my interest (although I am not certain if I sparked his, time will tell).  We met for coffee after work a few days ago and were both a bit tired. The conversation was light and we even shared a couple of laughs. Of all the Romeos I met he was the one with the best energy. The others provided me with a range of experiences, from a man who seemed infatuated with me to another that came across as a conspiracy theorist.

The infatuation levels experienced with on-line dating tends to send me screaming in the opposite direction. Everyone knows someone who has found love on-line. Some of the connections have led to marriage and many have not. In the past, the couple of relationships that came from my on-line dating experience ramped up extremely fast, with a fast crash and burn. Stressful and painful! Don’t get me wrong, a skyrocket relationship is definitely an adrenaline rush and life altering. It was flattering in my younger years when a Romeo took to me in such a way. Today I see it very differently. This phenomenon is more of an addiction and possibly a sign of emotional instability and does not show someone who is ready for a long-term relationship. I speak from experience because I had several of these in my life and looking back I was definitely not ready!

I have also tried to gain a better understanding of the type of person who is using on-line dating. There are a number of people who are lonely and just want someone to have fun with – no commitment and others who define themselves by being in a relationship – even if they are not ready for one. Then there are those who are in a good place in life, ready to meet someone special and using on-line dating as an extra way to meet singles (not the only way). It is tough deciphering which category each Romeo is in. It will require building a foundation on which to set up a friendship and trust. Some of you may think that my approach is quite limiting. These statements come from MY observations of their situation through MY lenses. When I am looking for my ideal partner, a Romeo to spend my life with, selectivity is necessary to avoid dead-end relationships.

Deciphering where each Romeo stands becomes easier when you know what your life “reality” is. Many years ago I went on a business trip to Italy. My company was running a large meeting and an outside vendor provided the audio-visual support. The Romeo who owned (and owns) the company went on to become a wonderful friend of mine. Not only did he introduce me to Photography,  my hobby and passion, but he shared with me one of the most valuable insights on love and relationships I have ever received. He explained how important each persons life “reality” is to having a deep and loving relationship. Determining my life “reality” helps me frame a point of comparison that is essential to finding my ideal life partner. Let me give you an example. For several years, Mary has worked a full-time job and raising 3 children under the age of 15 on her own. Her schedule routine,predictable and comfortable. With enough time for her work, family and personal enjoyment, she is happy and finds herself in a great place in life. She is ready to meet someone special to share her life with. Let’s meet Robert. He is 15 years older than Mary, never married and does not want children (although is not opposed to meeting women with children). His career is demanding and he often times gets frustrated with relationships because the women he tends to date want more of “him”. He also has a routine and comfortable with an occasional business trip or client dinner. Mary and Robert share essentially the same “reality” so there is a high potential for the relationship to work if everything else falls into place.

Now, let’s say Mary was recently divorced and met Robert. She is trying to figure out what her next steps are. There is hurt, pain and uncertainty. Robert is a busy man. If he decides to start a relationship with Mary, chances are he will need to give her a bit of emotional support – more of “him”. Their realities in this example are different. The same holds true if Robert wanted kids of his own and Mary was not interested. The point is to know what your “reality” is and to connect with someone who shares your reality. Starting off on the same foot standing on a solid foundation will allow room for growth in the same direction. When I meet someone, I try to understand what their reality is. Are we aligned? If not, I try not to invest any more time into the relationship. I am not looking to just pass time or make lots of new friends. I must admit sometimes it is hard to walk away but I stay focused knowing that I am looking for someone who shares my reality, piques my interest, becomes my best friend. Should all the stars align, he and I will become life long partners.

How do you see “realities” playing a part in your relationships?

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Should a person ever be alone?

February 7th, 2010

This afternoon I met a wonderful Romeo friend of mine for coffee. We were talking about relationships and how hard it is to let go of the hurt someone put us through. This Romeo has been single for a while and is not ready to jump back into a relationship (even though the opportunity has been there). He asked me if I thought a person should ever “just be alone”?

I thought about the answer and then shared that there are several reasons why a person may want to take a break from relationships. The most obvious one is after a break-up because of the turbulent emotions felt at the ending of the relationship (and the time period immediately following known as the rebound period). Another reason could be they may want to focus on getting a goal achieved such as a new job or maybe they are enjoying life and making decisions on their own without having to take someone else’s opinion into consideration.

To me it seems as though society looks at single people who willing choose to forego a relationship as having “issues”. Maybe they are the most stable and confident of the bunch.

So I now ask you the question, “Should a person ever be alone?” Can’t wait to hear your opinion!

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Law of Attraction 101

February 7th, 2010
This weekend I drafted, printed and rolled up the scrolls for the balloons. I also started thinking about the potential outcome of this event. The law of attraction says we must focus clearly and see the outcome we want. The vision in our minds will vibrate the desired energy into the universe. I wish to find “The One”.

There are two schools of thought on what to focus on when defining your “vision”. One is the final outcome. For me that would be actually finding “The One” and who he will be. The second would be to focus on all the events leading to finding “The One”. Instead of focusing on finding “The One”, I would focus on seeing the balloons traveling through the sky safely until they find their way into peoples hands.

Events in life unfold slowly and take us in very different directions. We make decisions everyday that affect our desired outcome. Remember the “make your own ending” books back in the 80‘s? Each book had many possible paths to only three or four endings. All the possible endings were positive in their own way yet the journey to each was different.

Don’t get me wrong, knowing the destination is very important. The key is not to paint the vision you want in such great detail that you stop enjoying the journey. If you are extremely detailed you will not enjoy what the universe is unfolding in front of you while your wish is becoming a reality.

As I wrote, printed and rolled up 100 messages to put into my 100 balloons, I saw the journey they were about to take. In my mind, each of the scrolls found a destination. Some got stuck in trees, some ended up in a lake or a river, some were swept away with the rain fall. But several journeyed into peoples hands. These men and women were curious to open the scroll and read what it had to say. Some thought I was a “kook” and some visited the website and chatted about it to their friends. The greatest part of my vision was when I  saw my messages reach the hands of those people who knew exactly what to do next. Once the message reached their hands, the universe took over.

Why do I allow the universe to take over from the moment the message is in the right hands? Why do I not focus my vision on the person sending me an email and meeting me for the first time? Because I have no right to use my will power on another person. To really successfully use the law of attraction, we must use our will power on ourselves and focus on only those things we can do to align our thinking to our desires. So all I can focus on is getting the message where it needs to go.

“Life is a journey, not a destination” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

One week to go until launch!

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100 Balloons and a leap of faith!

February 1st, 2010

The time has come to start setting up my February “Message in a Balloon” launch.

I am a great believer in the Law of Attraction and to continue to prove that I will find love in 2010, I will launch 100 balloons into the universe believing one will find its way to the man I am supposed to spend my life with. A dedicated website to this project is available and will serve as a way for those who find the scrolls to get more information.

You can visit the site at www.MyMessageInABalloon.com. Don’t forget to come back and share with me your comments on this exciting event.

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Any connection between Match and “reality”?

January 23rd, 2010

It has been a busy two weeks! Work and life PLUS managing emails/phone calls and dates from Match have me a bit tired. From the time I joined Match on January 9th until today I have received about 30 emails, countless winks and my profile was viewed many hundreds of times.

I narrowed the number of eligible Romeos down to six. It has been a busy string of emails and phone calls. I try to keep emails limited to a couple back and forth and move to a phone conversation quickly. It is easy to tell if there is a potential connection once you move from typing emails to actually speaking with each other. If you find it hard to keep the conversation going – move on. Now that I have a nice group of single Romeos, I will stop initiating new communications until I see where these connections go.

So the question now becomes, do I keep the profile visible (and continue to receive emails and winks) or do I hide it (and potentially send out the “I have found what I am looking for” message to the Romeos I am talking to). If I do keep the profile visible, I will log in periodically to respond to those Romeos who sent me a “thoughtful” email. To thank them for their interest and let them know I am busy working through my selected candidates. There is nothing worse than pouring effort into an email and then not even receiving a “Thanks, but no thanks” response. Actions speak louder than words! Someone who does not take five seconds to respond to a thoughtful email shows they have little consideration for others. I am a bit torn on what to do with my profile status  (and admit I maybe over thinking things!).

For the number of times that I have been on Match, I have not been able to figure out how to enjoy the process. I suspect I am not alone. The way that I see it, if I am corresponding with a large volume of Romeos, they must be corresponding with a large volume of Juliettes. I find this aspect of online dating terribly unnatural. I am starting to realize that maybe I am just not wired to fully enjoy what Match has to offer.

What has been your experience?

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The floodgates are open

January 12th, 2010

It’s Tuesday. My profile has been up on Match since early Saturday. The flurry of activity always seems to overwhelm me when my “new” profile comes on the network. The emails and winks are flattering on the surface until I start reading them or checking out who is actually interested in me.

I can’t seem to understand why a man would take the time to send a note or wink when he does not match any of the criteria I stated on my profile. Don’t get me wrong, I am open to dating men that are “outside the list” when I meet them while having fun out and about. On Match, I will only entertain meeting men that “match” my desired criteria.

I realize it sounds really shallow but let me explain. Match boosts more than 20 million members in 37 countries. There are LOTS of single people out there! With such a large pond of single Romeo’s, there must be an efficient way of sifting through the possibilities. When using the Match search engine to look for other singles, the selection criteria allows me to find a Romeo who fits with every detail on my list: height, age, children (have and/or want), marital status, distance, hair and eye color, body type, profession, religion, income, activities, political view, body art, piercing and the list goes on and on. Just like the two 15 year old boys in Weird Science who created a woman, I can simply select the boxes, set the desired age range and SHABAM my ideal man (actually men) show up in digital format. So I ask you again, why would I compromise my “list” when there are profiles that “match” perfectly?

Let’s look at the numbers. A broad search of single men in the Bridgewater, NJ area results in a total of 1892 men (criteria set for men between the ages of 18 and 100+ located 10 miles of 08807 (photos and no photos)). When I search within the 1892 men for those that match my “list” I come up with 15 matches. Boy am I picky! It is yet to be determined if I will correspond and meet one of these charming Romeo’s. The point is that match facilitates the notion that we can find the PERFECT partner. When you meet, if there is no chemistry then you move on to the next charming Romeo. Nothing gained, nothing lost.

I don’t like it! I ask you, how natural and spontaneous is this – really? Match gives us access to a large volume of single people. That’s it. The reality is there is more to a person that is captured in a profile or selected from a list of choices. The other day I caught a Romeo looking my way in the supermarket. Not sure what he was looking at, might have been the amazing cheese spread behind me, or he might have wondered why I was buying a dozen containers of Greek yogurt. He did not align to my requirement “list” but his energy was definitely strong and he was charming. We smiled and passed each other.

We cross paths with so many people everyday. A simple smile shared with another person (not even referring to anything related to romance) can make us feel alive. It represents a special connection shared for a moment in time. In that split second a friendship can start and lead to other wonderful moments in life. Match will never be able to re-create the spontaneity that comes from crossing some ones path. Match is in the volume business of connecting singles together. That’s it.

I am curious to know what you think. Please share.

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Ready, Set, Go!!

January 6th, 2010

Today is my first day back from a trip home to Portugal. I left on December 31st and arrived in Lisbon on January 1st. I was very curious to spend New Year’s on an airplane in flight. How many times do you celebrate? There is a five-hour time difference so I thought we would celebrate each time we moved over a time zone. Not so! It was quite uneventful! The only time we celebrated was around 6:00pm US time which corresponds to midnight in Lisbon. I bet Southwest would have turned the occasion into an awesome party.

This coming weekend I will join Match.com. This will probably be my fourth time using the service. Over the years I have met some very nice (and some real kookie) people on the service. Some who have become good fiends of mine. None that evolved into a serious relationship. There have been some really funny and interesting dates and also some uncomfortable ones. The scariest situation I ever came across on Match was in 2004 when I was talking with an emergency room doctor. He was charming and very interesting. We made plans to meet but had to reschedule because my babysitter cancelled. A couple of weeks went by and as we were making plans to meet again when he asked if I looked like my picture. My daughter and I had donated 10 inches of hair to lock of love so my hair was really short which rally upset him! I immediately told him I was no longer interested in meeting him and went on with my life. In 2007, I received a call from a FBI agent asking me questions about the “ER doctor”. The agent shared with me the disturbing news that 9 women were accusing the “doctor” of date rape. I was very lucky. Even with such a crazy experience, I have tried Match again because not all people are loony.

I am updating my profile to reflect what is going on in my life now. It will definitely be short. Looking at the competition is also important. So many women say the same thing when talking about their hobbies and interests. So many ask that you not not contact if you are a looser!  As a believer in the Law of Attraction, if someone thinks about not dating losers – they will date losers because the universe does not understand the word “not” and only hears the last two words, “dating losers”. Guess who they will only date?

Here is a copy of my profile. Wish me luck!

2010 is poised to be one of the most amazing years of my life! Why? Because this is the year that I will send my daughter off to college. What a milestone!
She and I have been together for 19 years and have a wonderful and close relationship!

Looking back with nostalgia, I am in awe of the journey that we took to get here. One thing I know is that I am extremely blessed and very happy with who I am, where I came from and where I am going.

For this reason, I would like to meet someone who is also in a great place in life. I am not looking to jump into a relationship to “complete me” because I feel wonderful with who I am. I would hope that you too are complete.

If you are separated, I would rather wait to hear from you until you are divorced and back on your feet. I hope you understand.

I am ready and emotionally available to enjoy my life with a wonderful man. Our time together should be fun, carefree and amazing. No drama please. Just two people loving life, sharing love and building memories.

I believe in life you meet people for a reason, a season or a lifetime. So, if you are a gentleman who is ready to meet a caring and honest woman, send me a note and let’s find out what our reason to meet is…

for fun:

I enjoy reading a great book or watching a great movie. Sharing a good laugh with friends. Photography. Anything that makes me grow as a person.

my job:

I work for a pharmaceutical company as a Product Manager.

my ethnicity:

I was born in Portugal and have been in the US for 14 years now. My father had an international marketing career so I have lived in different countries.

my religion:

I am very grateful for all the good fortune, friends, family and health that I have in my life.

my education:

I graduated from Penn State – Go Nittany Lions! And I love science!

favorite hot spots:

Cuddling close in front of a roaring fire. Love cozy coffee houses and low-key hole in the wall restaurants. Vacation – anywhere adventurous and warm!

favorite things:

Lots of favorites! Lots to talk about… :)

last read:

Mutant Messenger Down Under. The fascinating experience of an American physician with an Aborigines Tribe in Australia.

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Entrepreneurs in aisle 5

December 30th, 2009

The week between Christmas and New Years is fabulous! The closure of my company during this week gives me an extra five days off! I spend this time recharging my batteries and “pretending” that I have no cares in the world. It is a great time!

I also take this week to complete a very special yearly project, my inspiration board for the following year. This is the fourth year that I have worked on creating an inspiration board.  I mainly use old magazines to find and clip out images and words/sayings that inspire me for the year to come. There are no “material” wants on my board. The focus is on living a more fulfilling and inspired life and on accomplishing certain goals (i.e.. in 2008, I added the skydiving event to the 2009 board. Seeing it everyday made it so that I HAD to do it. No backing out!).

When I take a look at all the past inspiration boards together, it amazes me how I can immediately remember what was going on at that time in my life. I remember exactly why I added a certain picture or saying. It is nice to see how far I have come over the years!

I was almost done with my project when I realized I ran out of glue. So I decided to take a break, head off to the gym and then stop at Staples. I put on my gym attire and pulled back my hair and off I went.

Following my workout, I headed straight to Staples for my glue stick. The workout made me feel great although I might have been a bit stinky (and my hair was definitely pulled back tight). As I was pulling into the parking lot I thought to myself, “If I am want to find an entrepreneur, I would probably find him at Staples. They must have to buy office supplies at some point.” I chuckled and headed in.

Glue is in one of the back aisles. As I meandered through the store I crossed paths with a cute Romeo, tall, athletic, no ring, circa early to mid thirties. He was carrying a cardboard box and packing popcorn, which indicated he had to prepare a package for shipping (I have acute detective skills). I flashed a smile and whispered a “hello” as I passed on by to pick up my glue stick.

With glue stick in hand, I head to the check-out counter and notice that Romeo is still walking around. I pick the LONG line and wait patiently. Soon enough Romeo is at the other register checking out. We leave Staples at the same time. I head to my car and watch him as he heads to his (which was immaculately clean!). He looks back as he gets into his car. We exchange glances. I pull out of the parking lot and head out to Barnes and Noble. To my surprise, I see him pull out  and follow me to the book store.

Now I am at Barnes and Noble. Latte in hand. The magazine rack is offering me the much needed coverage. Romeo enters the store and moves over to the center display area. I strategically position myself near him and attempt to start small talk. He responds. We separate and head into different directions. Again we meet. Small talk. Again we separate. Another brief exchange. Off in separate directions. I reached my limit and accepted that this Romeo is not into me!

I was ready to head out and moved towards the café area to discard my empty cup.  As I was leaving Romeo comes around the corner. Small talk, introductions and phone number exchange. Nice! I headed home with a huge smile on my face. Later tonight I will be meeting up with a very close Juliet friend. I can’t wait to share with her the story. It will be great to talk about chance meetings and to dream.

I am not sure if I will ever hear from Romeo again. He certainly is cute! I can say that I had a great time playing out the film in my head. Isn’t that what life is about? Dreams? Enjoyment? Joy? It would be nice to see him again. If not, then he was just a leading character in one of my life scenes. Today was a blast. Thanks Romeo!

UPDATE: January 23rd 2010. I have been in touch with “Staples” Romeo a couple of times since our meeting described above. Turns out that according to his report, he had intended to go to Barnes and Noble directly following his stop at Staples. He noticed me for the first time at Barnes and Noble. He thought I was just being friendly. I am certainly glad he did not see me hiding behind the magazine scoping out his next move. We had a wonderful laugh chatting about the event. It has been a real pleasure getting to know each other.

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